累

在宽阔无际的蓝空中飞翔

翅膀飞得好酸

好想找个栖息地

但眼前隔着一片薄纱   模糊不清

也许   我已迷失了方向

期待

黑暗的世界，已侵入了我的思绪。

因为一个事实的残酷，不得不把它封锁在一个装上密码的抽屉里。不是匪徒，能破门而入，夺走秘密；不是海盗，能寻找宝藏，获得答案。深埋秘密，我无可奉告，我也逼于无奈。

身边的朋友，恐怕不能当我的避风港，虽然我是多么的信任他们。这，让我感到措手不及、无助、慌张……

这种感觉，我已承受多年了。我，不知道自己还可以再承受多少个这种打击。

等待秘密凋零，带着微风，告诉我，幸福来临。

Emo Part 1

遗落在充满破裂的童年记忆里

努力拼凑着分裂的身体

用胶布包围

在注射morphine

就为了要绑紧

还未愈合的伤口

Emo Part 2

遗落在充满破裂的童年记忆里

试图寻找出口

好久好久

在迷宫里徘徊

一直都在原地

怎么还逃不出去？

习惯就好

习惯就好。这句话，我常常听到。

在大学念书，每天早起，匆匆忙忙吃了早餐，赶着去上课。告诉自己，习惯就好。上课时无法专心，不明白讲师在说什么。提醒自己，习惯就好。食堂里的食物又贵又难吃，对自己说，习惯就好。每天要学习的东西太多，似乎再也装不进脑子里了，但，习惯就好。竟然把读过的东西忘记，快把我逼疯了，习惯就好。生活无聊，考试压力等等。还是一句话，习惯就好。

习惯真的好吗？我一点也不喜欢习惯就好。虽然，我也许习惯了。习惯夺走了我最初的坚持，时间慢慢的消磨了我的反抗。

习惯就好，其实一点也不好。

你的电影上演中…

在你的人生中  你是编剧   你是导演   你是主角

若想让你的电影得奖   就千万不要轻易被其他人影响 

让你的电影有个完美的happy ending

里面的主角  没有任何的演技

里面的故事   没有任何的剧本

但却是最真实   最精彩的

这部电影此时此刻还在上演中

片名叫   人生

时差

我忙碌的时刻   是你们空闲的时间

我已经忙完时   你们却在忙了

以前   我不知道

原来身在同一个国度   也有时差

2008 Reflection

 

My blog is full of ivy or it has rusted after such a long period without any maintenance. But what matters is I decided not to abandon this blog. I know it is a bit too late to post up this particular blog now. The reasons for this were that I was really, and seriously indulged in the first novel of twilight saga series-Twilight. Well, thanks to Stephenie Meyer but I still haven’t watched the movie though. Besides, I was busy shopping for my Chinese new year clothes with my mum while she still had her holidays.

January…

Okay, enough for the small talk. I remember 2008 started with my second A-levels exam (part of A2 papers and AS practical) so I guess I didn’t really enjoy the new year. Yes, that was my first ever practical exam in my life, my blood was full of adrenaline and cortisol hormone of course. But I managed to fight against it and calmed myself down or I would break the glassware and spill the solutions, most probably.

My mum and I went to stay at my grandpa’s place for a few days after exam. It had been very long since last I visited him as I was too busy with my studies and stuff. I realized that I missed him so much and wondering whether he is going to blame me for not visiting him often enough at the same time. Frankly, I didn’t really like interacting with children, or so I thought. But I was so surprised when I practically enjoyed playing along with my young cousin brothers and sister.

February…

Spent my Chinese new year holidays at grandma’s and aunt’s as usual. I was so pissed off by the hot weather but easily pleased by angpows and steamboat. The last semester of A-levels began immediately after new year break. I don’t want to talk much about the life in college but there are 3 things for sure:

1. Stressful

2. Depression

3. Lonely

I can say college life is the worst time of my life, or I hope, at least. But this semester is somehow a little better than the previous ones. Maybe I didn’t have to take any LAN subjects and got to go back earlier. And possibly I was anticipating for the end of this course as it got sooner everyday.

March…

April…

May…

I was in the state of euphoria when I received my conditional offer letter from IMU. I know it’s not from Cambridge or NUS but I was already contented at that point. I still remembered the waves of depression and anxiety washed over me when I was struggling with IELTS, worrying that I couldn’t meet up the university’s requirement. Then, I was perturbed by a pessimistic theory–couldn’t get a place in IMU. Luckily it all went very well.

A-levels exam finally started. Tinky and Winky gave birth to baby hamsters.

June…

Torturing and tormenting college life is over at last.

July…

August…

A Big Turning Point of My Life—-the starting of University Life!

A brand new start!

A new hope!

September…

October…

November…

December…

Summative 1 exam is on 31^st. My wild “celebration” of after-exam-break had begun.

So much had happened in these few months that they all appear as a blur and yet with a few images stand out clearly and vividly among the rest. If I were to talk about every event with every detail, I think I wouldn’t be able to stop writing. Still, I will try to post up some of my thoughts or the incidents that occurred throughout the first semester. Hope they are interesting enough to make you keep reading my blog =)